When Boredom Strikes
by Jacceh
Summary: Saix really can't find anything to do, while Xemnas tries to find a way to entertain himself. Axel and the others discuss what's happening around the castle. [crackfic, slight OOC and quite limey] Read at your own risk X3


**A/N: Nehh….this story is made out of boredom. It contains extreme weird content that may leave you thinking what kind of retarded person I am. And sorry, I have a crude sense of humour T.T Anyway, read on if you dare. I think the character's aren't as OOC as they use to be. Although I must say, Xemnas is very OOC here. :P (Might stop writing for a while to hide my shame.) Well...maybe  
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There were no words to describe how bored the Luna Diviner was…It was early in the morning and already he was feeling grouchy for no reason. It was baffling really, since no one was bothering him, they were all tangled up in their sheets sleeping like there was no tomorrow. Saix frowned a bit and sauntered slowly up the corridor, oblivious to the fact that Xemnas was standing behind him with a folder in his hand. He smiled a little when he saw the Diviner stroll absent-mindedly up the hall, still not noticing Xemnas. 

"Excuse me." He said in his best smooth Superior-like voice, walking past while smacking the Diviner's buttocks lightly with his folder. Saix suddenly jumped a bit, just noticing that his Superior had disrupted his day-dreaming. He pouted a little while Xemnas gave him a smug smile before heading off towards the kitchen. Saix made a mental note to pay Xemnas later.  
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There was a gentle knock on his door, Xemnas, working on his newest report muttered a "come in" without looking up. He heard the door open then close and heard soft footsteps coming towards him.

"What are you eating?" Saix's quiet, questioning voice cut through the silence. He just realised that there was half some kind of pink, stick-like biscuit sticking out of his Superior's mouth.

"Strawberry Pocky." Xemnas stated, matter-of-factly, finally looking up from his report. He saw Saix's eyes widen slightly and fixed his piercing yellow eyes on the snack. Xemnas chuckled quietly and returned to his work.

"Can I have one?" Saix said his most courteous voice.

"Hnn, depends." He heard Saix shift uncomfortably.

He jerked his head up when he suddenly found Saix standing next to him, already invading majority of his personal space. The Diviner tenderly put a hand on his Superior's thigh, stroking lightly while his lips brushed ever-so-gently across his neck.

"Maybe we could share…." Xemnas could already feel himself losing to the Diviner's touch. He swallowed, clearing his throat before answering.

"And…how are we going to do that…?" By now Saix's fingers were lightly caressing his jaw, Xemnas shifted in his chair uncomfortably, knowing that he was getting aroused every second. He had half a mind to yank Saix down onto his lap and capture those maddening lips of his.

"Not to worry…I have an idea…" Saix put his mouth over the pocky while pressing his lips lightly against his Superior's. He ran his fingers gently through those silver locks pulling him closer while the other hand slipped in between his Leader's thighs stroking firmly yet still gentle. Xemnas gave low moan, tilting his head slightly to give the Diviner access to his mouth. Just when he was staring to get aroused Saix bit down on the biscuit, breaking it in half. Saix pulled back enjoying the baffled look written all over his Superior's face, Xemnas couldn't help but pout a little.

"Such a tease…" He muttered while glaring at Saix devour the other half of the pocky. Saix gave him a satisfied smile, walking towards the door.

"Just a reward to you for messing with me…"

_X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S  
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It was freezing cold, and normally it was just lightning and thunder. But this time, it was freezing, it was almost like Vexen had made a weather machine and it exploded. Everyone seemed to be crowded in Axel's room, since he was the only one who could conjure fire.

Xemnas strolled quickly down the hall, his whole body was trembling and the leather cloak was doing little to help. He almost wondered wether Vexen had anything to do with this. Xemnas felt like pulling his hood up to keep his face warm, but he realised he was in front of the bathroom. He thought of taking a quick hot bath before snuggling into his warm sheets. But the thought of the Luna Diviner not accompanying him there pained him slightly. Speaking of which, he wondered where his sub-coordinate was. However he was so hasty to not even know that the bathroom was already occupied.

Just when he thrust the door open, something black, leather-like hit him squarely in the face. He stumbled back blindly, not knowing what just happened. He heard a nervous chortle.

"Xemnas, terribly sorry but you should knock before you interfere with one's privacy." Xemnas pulled the black leather material off his face scowling, he took a look and realised it was somebody's pants. He looked back at the one who had spoken to him, it was Saix. It seemed like he had walked on Saix changing.

"What are you doing here?" Saix raised an eyebrow.

"I was thinking of taking a warm bath, before you barged in on me. Haven't you notice the sudden climate change outside?" Xemnas smiled, walking closer to his second-in-command. Saix blinked, wondering what on earth was happening.

"What…what are you doing?" He stammered when Xemnas had practically towered over him, invading all of his personal space.

"I'm…rather cold right now, would you mind warming me up?"

"H..how?"

"Like this." Xemnas suddenly pulled the Diviner towards him, crushing their lips together. Saix squirmed at the sudden contact before breaking the kiss and looking at his Superior in a daze.

"What was that all about…?" His voice trailing off as Xemnas pulled him closer, burying his face into the Diviner's soft indigo hair. Saix shivered pleasantly as his Superior ran his fingertips over his spine then resting on his hips. He continued to caress the Diviner's hips before moving his hand over to the thin material that was covering his crotch and squeezed. Saix pulled back and gasped, Xemnas took this chance to lightly push him. Saix, completely caught off guard slipped back and fell in the warm waters with a rather loud splash. When he surfaced his own pants came flying, knocking him squarely in the face. Saix pulled the leather material off his face scowling heavily. Xemnas had unconsciously enjoyed cuddling with Saix and regretted pushing him into the bath.

"What the hell was that for?!" Saix yelled, clearly shaking in fury. Xemnas walked forward and rested his arms across the edge of the bath.

"Just paying you back for what you did to me earlier." Saix frowned, clearly not accepting the reason.

"Well, I guess you just got your revenge." Xemnas smirked and leaned closer.

"Oh no, I'm just getting started. You threw your pants at me and I still haven't paid you back for that." Saix's eyes widened in disbelief, it seemed like Xemnas had planned this thoroughly.

"But…you walked in on me. That's your problem." Xemnas's smirk widened, putting his gloved hand on the Diviner's chin, tilting his head upwards to meet his exotic amber eyes.

"True, but you still hit me in the face." Saix felt like concealing himself at this stage. Those amber eyes were really freaking him out. Xemnas noticed his uncertainty and pulled him closer, observing his face.

"Xemnas…you're really starting to freak me out…" Xemnas's smirk was really starting to look perverted now.

"Maybe… this place isn't too bad…" Saix's backed away from his eerie Superior.

"You're…seriously not thinking of doing it here…?" Xemnas snapped out of his thoughts.

"Why not? It's a different environment."

"Xemnas, you've got to be kidding me. You truly are perverted." Xemnas grinned and made a quick work of his clothes before slipping in the bath. Saix whimpered, knowing there was no way out of this.

_X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S/X/S_

_The next day in Axel's room._

"Has anyone noticed that Xemnas and Saix have been missing recently?" Axel looked up at Xigbar from their card game they were playing with Roxas, Larxene, Demyx and Luxord. Zexion was resting sprawled comfortably against the couch while Xaldin sat behind Xigbar, having little interest in the game.

"Missing? They're busy having some kind of fun…" Xigbar raised an eyebrow, not getting the point.

"How can anyone possibly have fun with stacks of paperwork..?" Axel gave him shot him a sideways glance.

"It's more than that…there's some action too." Xigbar only looked more confused.

"What…?" Axel let out an exasperated sigh.

"They're probably getting laid by now…you dense twit." Xigbar froze as those words sank in, his mouth hung open from complete shock. Axel stared at him a bit more before putting his index finger to his temple.

"Commit it to memory." Xigbar shook his head, revolted at what he just heard.

"Dude, that's just wrong…Larxene have you noticed that Marluxia might be making his move on you anytime soon?" Larxene looked up expressionless, it seemed like this was old news to her.

"Well, tell him I'd rather get screwed by a vibrator than his penis anytime." Xigbar's mouth dropped open, as well as everyone else's.

That was probably one of longest silences every existed.

"That…that was harsh. Very." Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn…""Let's hope Marluxia isn't lurking around."

"If he was, I couldn't care less." Larxene said calmly, putting a card down that made her win her fifth game in a row. Everyone groaned in exasperation.

"How does she do that?" Demyx whined.

"Maybe I'm just a good dealer." Luxord stated. "Now let me play."

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Saix stirred, he blinked a few times before he realised where he was, in his Superior's bed. He didn't really remember how he got here, but he certainly could remember what they did in the bathroom. A small smile graced his lips as the memories flooded back; he tilted his head to look at the sleeping figure next to him. It seemed like Xemnas was enjoying himself in dreamland, Saix sat up a bit to nip gently on his ear. Xemnas mumbled, not waking, obviously the night before had worn him out. Saix tried again, this time nibbling on his neck. Xemnas opened his eyes slowly, looking extremely worn-out. However he managed to give the Diviner a lazy smile before snuggling up into him.

"…darn it." Xemnas looked up.

"What's wrong…?" He mumbled, rather groggily. Saix shifted a little.

"I just remember you left my pants in the bathroom." Xemnas blinked a few times, thinking hard.

"Oh, right…whoops…"

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**Bleeh….that was corny. Please shoot me. –dies- Anyway…some of the quotes here are taken from some movies…I don't remember…See if you can guess which ones they are. I think there's only like…2**

**But anyway I told you this fic was retarded. I really need more ideas, hopefully they'll be more sane.**

**Don't forget to review, flames or praise. I don't really care for this one. 8D**


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